DeLiCiOuS aMbIGuItY

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

so much has happened

Where do I start?

~the flat~

I moved into Everton Hall a few weeks ago, and things have been going awesome so far! I'm currently flatting with 4 Kiwis (talking about a crash course on Kiwi culture) and all of them are wonderful, funny and have their own quirks. There's Zak who always seems to be bullied (but he started most of the arguments), David who chauffeurs us around, Naomi with her funny and great personality, and Lukas with his Act party. We've pretty much settled down. We have a cooking roster, a cleaning roster and a shopping roster. And after much anticipation - Internet and landline! And dearest ex-roommate Fi has a PR here. So it's all GOOD!

~university~

Seriously, the money, time, energy and resources demanded by education are growing on an exponential rate. I've just spend loads of money on textbooks, lots of energy worrying about whether I should take the test on Friday (in the end I decided not too because I was too afraid that I will fail) and lots of time TRYING to do readings and study for the test (which I'm now NOT going to take). I got bored of financial accounting so blogging seemed like a really good idea. I didn't know what I was reading. No clue to what the book is trying to tell me. Too many words.

~ICF~

Kiwi 101, ICF's first official meeting is tomorrow. Elaine and I have been planning this for quite a while, and it is a great joy to be able to finally see the fruit of our plans! Car rally is on the next day, and it is everyone's prayer that all will go well. We pray for more people, more impact and more meaningful relationships. I'm trying hard to look at the bigger picture of the things I'm doing, taking to heart that everything happens for a reason, good or bad. I can't control the events surrounding me or the people around me. Heck, I can't even control my own life, but I can control me. God controls everything else. And that should give me enough peace to handle all these things that are coming my way.

~something meaningful~

- If you never stop when you wave goodbye, you just might find if you give it time, you will wave hello again...

... And airports see it all the time -

D I V A at 5:42 PM
1 drop(s) of love

Saturday, February 17, 2007

orientation - drag netting

And then there were the newbies. Those who are completely clueless about their surroundings. That is when they are the most vulnerable.

And ICF steps in. And catches the prey. Muahaha.

Nah. That's not how it works.

Orientation was tiring, hard work, lots of planning, and lots of worrying. But at the end of the day, the memories, the new friends, the strenghtening of existing relationships made it all worthwhile. I was at the booth for most of the week, just talking to people. Most of the time ICF comes into the picture, and we try our best to spark interests in people. But we know that what matters is not whether we get new members, but the impact that we have on each individual. There are people who have signed up but will not come for ICF on a regular basis, and there lies the opportunities for friendship evangelism: viewing them through the eyes of Jesus. I've met most of my JPA juniors, and it was a joy to help them. I remember that not so long ago, I was as clueless as them. And it was through the help of those before me, that I managed to find my footing in unfamiliar grounds. I've also met some people who have lots of potential. I hope that the new friendships I've made will last, and the friendships that I have will last longer.

I just came back from drag-netting. Although we have a smaller turn out this year, the fun wasn't any less. I've got to bond with some of the people who joined, and it was very interesting to know them. The weather was good, the haul was impressive, and many have sacrificed to make this event work. It has been a great day, and in the midst of my tiredness and the sickness that I get from too much planning, I know it was all worth it. It was never for my sake in the first place. It was for them. For God.

I have taken lots of photos. It was a new year resolution. Katarina and I were having a conversation regarding this during the ride home: people take home for granted, knowing that they'll see home again. But when you're in a place only for a limited amount of time, you want to do everything, try everything, see everything, and take photos of everything.

Memorable: Kirstie told me how happy she was when she received a red packet. She is from Hong Kong. She hasn't celebrated Chinese New Year for two years.

D I V A at 8:36 PM
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Thursday, February 15, 2007

valentine

We are each of us angels with only one wing; and we only fly by embracing one another.

14th February.

Anna and Hannah came over for dinner at Leesha's place. Leesha was out with Elaine, and I used her place to cook. And after that, we watched a movie.

It was nothing big. No fancy chocolates, no big gifts, just one rose from Her Royal Highness. A beautiful one though.

But it was meaningful.

I guess that is what matters

D I V A at 5:01 AM
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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

shark bites

F. - "There are only so many shark bites I can take. Another one more and I'll be gone."

A.K. - "Nah. You'll get through it. You always do, and you never seem to lose hope."

But I'm afraid one day I will.

And yet I know I can't because life is not done with me yet, which means more shark bites will come, and the worst is probably not even here yet.

Labels: heart soul mind

D I V A at 7:18 PM
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eat

Today I cooked dinner at Leesha's flat. I cooked spaghetti bolognese.

Over dinner Elaine was teaching So Mang some Malay words.

Kanak-kanak: a child
Comel: cute
Kacak: handsome
Makan: eat

So we asked So Mang to repeat some of the words Elaine taught him.

"Somang, what is "eat" in Malay?"

So Mang: "meka meka meng meng"

What the heck...

Labels: funnies

D I V A at 3:09 PM
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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

wellington

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
keep telling me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called up momma last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's all right
Before I hung up, I said, "Hey momma, don't forget

To tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall
And tell me-maw I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me"

-Carrie Underwood-

I'm back in Wellington. There are times when I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, like in the song, but where I am now is danger zone, away from my comfort. It seems so awkward, these little actions that I used to do, and then did it no longer, and now doing it again. Walking instead of having the comfort of a car, paying for my own meals, scrounging for my food, thinking of bills and rent and living expenses, and many more. Orientation is next week and I'm scared out of my wits. Other fund-raising events are always at the back of my mind. Other thoughts are constantly floating in my head. One of them is studies. I met up with Jia Yin recently, and its hats off to her. Seeing her struggle (and yet doing well!) has made me afraid of what lies ahead of me. And yet I know, in everything that I do, I am not alone. He watches me. He cares for me. And His love transcends all. Oh if only this thought will constantly be in my head. I will worry so much less! I should begin to train my mind to have this thought: I am not alone. He watches me.

The fragility of humanity. Like glass. Easily broken, and have been broken many times, but His love held the pieces and glued them again. And it's the same for all humans, not just myself. In that sense, I'm not alone. I struggle. So do others. And that is perhaps the most beautiful thing about humanity: we struggle, we shatter like glass, and yet we have in us the ability to survive. We just have to find it, and I found it in Jesus. He saw me through thick and thin. I am not alone. He watches me.

.....

I wish I can tell you how much I long for your friendship, your advice, your counsel. Was the past so bad to the point that the wall erected will never fall? I miss you, friend.

.....

Perhaps this is where I'm supposed to be: danger zone. But home will always be where I belong.

It's like the song:

"Maybe surrounded by a million people, I still feel all alone, I just wanna go home....

Another aeroplane, another sunny day, I'm lucky I know, but I wanna go home"

But... where is home?

They say home is where the heart is.

It's like the song:

"Once you found your lover, you are homeward bound, love is all around"

Home is in the arms of the one who loves you. A lover. An enduring friend. A wonderful family member. Him who watches over me. I want to be home. Always.

JT: I'm so sorry for what happened.

Labels: heart soul mind, wellington

D I V A at 3:52 AM
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