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DELICIOUS AMBIGUITY ♥
Sunday, July 29, 2007
sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
D I V A at 11:45 AM
0 drop(s) of love

Saturday, July 21, 2007
first

Exciting day.

I'm really proud of my fingers. They do lots of stuff, and a few of which I'm particularly proud of. These fingers can play the guitar, the piano, and type at a speed of 76 words per minute with 95% accuracy.

The index finger was subjected to torture due to the incompetence of its owner in cutting chicken. The doctor said I was lucky. I didn't damage any nerves or tendons. Or else it'll be a long, long, long time before I can play the guitar or the piano again.

I've never actually hurt my fingers before, come to think of it. And I never had any stitches before. So today is a first for many things. There are a few "first" things that are quite significant. For example: first step, first time using proper utensils, first time riding a bike, first day at school, first prize, first time getting drunk, first love, first kiss, first time saying "I love you", first time making love, and first stitch.

So here's to many more good "first" stuff that will happen. Not that having a stitch is good, but its an experience.
D I V A at 4:55 PM
2 drop(s) of love

Friday, July 20, 2007
romeo & juliet

A time for us

A time for us, some day there'll be
When chains are torn by courage born of a love that's free
A time when dreams so long denied can flourish
As we unveil the love we now must hide

A time for us, at last to see
A life worthwhile for you and me

And with our love, through tears and thorns
We will endure as we pass surely through every storm
A time for us, some day there'll be a new world
A world of shining hope for you and me


For you and me

And with our love, through tears and thorns
We will endure as we pass surely through every storm
A time for us, some day there'll be a new world
A world of shining hope for you and me

A world of shining hope for you and me
D I V A at 8:28 AM
1 drop(s) of love

Wednesday, July 18, 2007
cursed is the ground because of you...

One of the things that I've learned from conference was "Work in light of Eternity". Work. God created it. And when Adam and Eve fell work became cursed.

Still it is one of the most important aspect of our lives. Unemployment is one of those problems that the government is always trying to overcome. And employment is perhaps the most important security that a person needs to have. Schools and universities existed to educate our minds and to teach us to think and grow in knowledge, but at the end of the day, the most important thing that education that give us is the ability to have employment in our desired fields. To be jobless is to lack financial security, and from that, survival needs. Money. We need money to live.

Although schools and universities depart great amount of knowledge to us all, a lot of us are still yet to test our skills in the real world. And in many instances the scenario given to us are not whats in the textbooks or the lectures. One may take a 300-level course in Audit, but an accountant once told me:" university doesn't really teach you how to do it." So its in the real world, in the working environment, where we are in this "space", where we know what we're suppose to do, but we really don't know how to do it. Hence we try and learn on the job, and that is why experience is highly appreciated by employers.

I have a job now. And it most certainly is a blessing from God.

Junior Analyst/Office Manager

It was my second day of work yesterday, and I'm finding myself playing around with real data from real existing companies, and not knowing much about how to go about analyzing them. And as for the accounting/bookkeeping part of the job, I'm not sure whether I remember how to use the software. However, the boss is a great guy. He is considerate about my hours and really flexible about it, and he is trying his best to give me more training despite of all the work he has to do. And because of that, I don't want to let him down, or let myself down, or let God down, and I'm trying to do this job well, when I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to do.

Sigh.

16 hours a week. It's quite a bit.

Which means that I'm going to be really busy, with no time for anything else. I took out the time budget sheet that I got from leadership training and designed an "ideal time budget". Then I realized that I didn't put in time for AJ, time for TV, time for relaxing/procrastinating, even time for friends. That's bad. And its wrong. What is life without enjoyment?

So I pray that God will give me strength to do all of these things. And may His glory be seen through my life.
D I V A at 4:56 AM
4 drop(s) of love

Friday, July 06, 2007
on trust or as gifts

...

That which love withholds is withheld for the sake of the other who is loved - so that it may not harm him, so that it maybe be used for a more timely service or so that it may mature into a richer gift. A person who loves holds nothing for himself: he reserves nothing as of right. That which he holds, he holds either on trust or as gift. He holds on trust that which awaits its own maturity or the need or capacity of the other to receive it; he holds as gift that which is returned to him in the response of the other who is loved. The enrichment which many discover in the experience of loving is not an enlargement of rights or an increase in possession: it is the discovery as trust or gifts of that which had previously been known only as possession. When a person loves, all that is in his power is invested with a sense of purpose, as available for the other, or becomes a cause or occasion of gratitude, as received by gift from the other.

....

Love's Endeavour, Love's Expense - The Response of Being to the Love of God
W. H. Vanstone
D I V A at 9:10 PM
0 drop(s) of love

Sunday, July 01, 2007
eternity awaits

TSCF conference

To be honest, I wasn't really keen on going. It's a full week of holidays gone, and as usual it will be really tiring. But the decision to go and experience conference again was a wise one. I've learned so much, experienced so much, and I will not exchange those few days for anything else (save for the weather).

I don't really know how I'm suppose to sum up what I've learned, because there are just so many things! However, there are some that are more significant than others. The significances lie in the way the lessons changed my view on my past, and my perceptions on my future. One of the most significant lessons was on being "holy, blameless and righteous". I've never thought that these goals were possible, and yet Paul can truthfully say that that's how he was. I'm not really sure how I'm suppose to go about doing that, but I guess if I walk along the mindset of always trying to honour God, despite of my adequacies, and trying to love people even though it can sometimes be hard, perhaps I can be that way.

The topic on "sex in light of eternity" was probably the topic that caught everyone's interest. I think it was good that Andrew gave it bluntly to us, telling us straight in the face the importance of being pure sexually in the sight of God, and the consequences if this is not followed (they are pretty terrifying). And despite it all, we know of the adulterous woman that received forgiveness from Jesus, and was not condemned. So there is room for grace. Such a terrible sin in His sight, and yet it was pardoned. Such grace my heart does not understand, my soul cannot comprehend.

There was also a session on work. It's challenging to do everything as if everything is a service to God. Work is hard and cursed after the Fall, but work nevertheless is endowed by God. So it is important to be good at what God has called us to do, for this is the greatest testimony one can give. This tied in well with Dave's story about being the best electrician when under apprenticeship, so that the faith can be shown through actions.

Dave was in charge of the night sessions. He quoted a line from Shantaram, a book that I've highly enjoyed. "There is no belief in God. You either know God, or you don't know God." That is so true. If we know God, then we believe in Him. If we don't know God, then what's there to believe? He also talk about having good relationships with people and just loving them, without an expectation of change. All are created in the image of God, so all should be treated like they carry a little of God in them. People can be really hard to love sometimes. So that was a real challenge. He also encourage us to find our identities in Christ, and to learn to integrate our individual stories and cultures with Christ.

So many things...

... and I hope that these won't just stay at stuff written in my journal

... but that I can live what I've learned, and live what I believe in.

People there were awesome as well. It was good to see familiar faces and to get to know new ones. And perhaps such bonds will have opportunities in the future to grow. I'm really bad at keeping in touch. I guess I should try, or maybe everyone else can just join Facebook so we can know whats going on in everyone's lives. Or maybe everyone should just come read this space and start a blog and I'll go read their space. Whatever suits. AJ enjoyed "himself" as well. Many fingers have used "him" to make good music.

And the BEST thing about conference: God time. It's easy to forget to cherish Him in the midst of learning and fun.

Quotes that I got from conference:
~ You cannot try to be clever, and glorify Jesus at the same time ~
~ There is in every single one of us, a consuming passion, the ultimate concern. We call this "the longing for God". ~
~ Purity of the heart is to will one thing, and one thing only ~
~ To thine own self be true ~
~ Character is who you are in the dark ~
~ Your sermon terrifies me, but your life reassures me ~
~ To live without suffering is to die without glory ~
~ Let my lot come to naught, but let me not lose Christ ~
~ Before the Fall, Adam and Eve had no shame, because there was no perversion. No perversion because there was true EROS ~
~ Be passionate about love, truth and beauty ~
~ Look to me. Look for me. ~

And the best one...

~ Up on a lonely hill, two lovers kissed, and the world stood still... ~
D I V A at 6:08 PM
3 drop(s) of love