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DELICIOUS AMBIGUITY ♥
Monday, February 20, 2006
wellington, new zealand

I'm in New Zealand.

I don't have an internet connection yet. I've subscribed to Woosh, which is a wireless broadband service but I need to get a booster first because I'm living on a hill and there's absolutely no signal here even though its in the coverage area.

I remember how Mr. Warren used to tell us in Moral Studies class that 'everyday is a good day". Here in Wellington, everyday is a bad hair day. It's freaking windy. I almost got blown off the street. I literally had to hang on to a lampost to prevent me from flying. Things here are expensive. There's no good food that's less than NZD 5. (Unless we buy a large place of mixed rice and share it with 3 people in Readings Cinema, which was what I did with my friends. =p) Books here are expensive. If the book is priced RM 100 in Malaysia, its 100 dollars here. Cosmetics are also expensive, although the acne treatment here is suppose to work wonders. Clothes are also really pricey. Friends of the family told me that coats should be cheaper here in NZ. It's not. It's the same price as in Malaysia. It's still expensive. I'm living in a hostel where nearly every Kiwi is doing either Law, Politics or International something. I've already enrolled. I'm taking 4 subjects each trisemester which is probably really heavy and I won't have much time for other things but hey, life is never only about studying and getting good grades. If that is how life works, geniuses won't have a care in the entire world. I've met quite a few people, made some really good friends. I went drag netting with the International Christian Fellowship people and realized that I'm more in love with beaches than ever. And at the same time made some friends. I don't eat fish but the fish and chips here taste good. My roomate is also from Malaysia and she's a Vic scholar. (Every year, the university gives out scholarhips to people from Malaysia and Singapore. This year, she's the only one who got it). I wish I was living near Oriental Bay. If I am, I'll go the beach every single evening. It's my place of solace.

Everything has been good so far. And I hope God will continue to keep me safe and happy. Continue praying for me yeah? I know this is an unusually short post for me but I gotta go know because they're going to close this place soon. Till then, tata.
D I V A at 4:01 PM
4 drop(s) of love

Thursday, February 09, 2006
prologue of a new chapter

Home is behind, the world ahead;
and there are many paths to tread.
Through shadows, to the edge of night,
until the stars are all alight;
Wisp and shadow, cloud and shame,
All shall fade, all shall fade...

~J.R.R. Tolkien~

I wanted to post this entry tomorrow but I'm afraid that there won't be enough time so I'm doing it now. I'm leaving for New Zealand tomorrow for undergraduate studies.

Many have asked what are my feelings now that the time to go is finally here. To tell the truth, I'm not very sure. Maybe I'm unconsiously making myself numb to any emotions to guard myself from unnecessary pain and heartache. I feel neither happiness nor sorrow. The level of excitement is so-so. I'm thinking of a few people now, those that I'll sorely miss. At the same time I know that this is life, and most things in life are not made to last for eternity. All of us need to move on, like swift rapids in the rivers because that is how life works. It just flows on and on and on. I guess you can say, I'm treating tomorrow just like any other day, and going to New Zealand is something that I need to do, and I'm glad that I've been blessed with this opportunity to enrich my life experiences. There are many more paths that I need to take, many more chapters in life that I need to begin and end. Studying in New Zealand is one of it.

I would like to thank the church Agape Gospel Assembly for their prayers and good wishes. I've been attending this church since I was young. I practically grew up there. I went to their Sunday School, I joined the Missionettes, I served in the Children's Ministry.... I went there Sunday after Sunday, and that has made all the difference. Thanks also to all my friends who have wished me and visited me. I'm very touched and grateful for such gestures, and I'll remember you always.

These are some of the things that I'll miss:

Roti pisang, char kuey teow, lemang, pisang emas, mata kucing, nasi lemak, ayam madu, rambutan, popiah, secret recipe's american chocolate cake, cheap and tasty chinese food, pasar malam, steamboat, late night suppers, broadband 24 hours a day 7 days a week, standing outside Animetech and admiring all the anime merchandise, staying up late and waking up late 'cuz the time for studies haven't arrived, pirated VCDs and DVDs, the smell of Malaysian Ringgit, cheap 2nd hand story books, the lax copyrighted laws, speaking with the LAH slang, all the good people I've met (friends, lecturers, teachers...), Petaling Street, Mid Valley Megamall, Sungei Wang Plaza, Sabah, Seremban, secondary school, college.... and many more.

But this is the one thing that I'll miss the most: knowing that my mother is an hour's drive away and that I can go back home every weekend and tell her about how the weight of the world is crushing my spirit. Exaggeration, of course.

Here I come, world.

Pray for me, yeah? I think I'm gonna need it.
D I V A at 5:46 PM
2 drop(s) of love

Monday, February 06, 2006
chinese new year

This Chinese New Year has got to be the quietest one yet. Maybe it's because of the poor economy. Maybe it's because fireworks are banned. Maybe it's because of the decreasing number of lion dances. Maybe it's because my father's side of the family is really small in number. However, I had fun all the same. =)

The best thing about this chinese new year is being able to spent time with my old classmates from secondary school. It's been ages since I saw them and I was happy to be acquainted with them again. We started our unsuccessful 'ang pau hunting' quest in the morning and it lasted till evening, after which we had steamboat dinner. In the midst of the boiling chicken stock and the splattering butter and the fishballs and prawns and meat and fish and the dipping sauce, secondary school memories crossed my mind. I looked at each and everyone of them and tried to remember what they were like back then. Most of them didn't change much. The popular and beautiful girls are still the epitome of feminity and the object of desire of many. Old crushes still remained and perhaps have evolved to love. The strong, silent ones can still remain quiet and solemn amidst the noise and laughter, only giving out an occasional smile or a silly joke. The frank and honest ones are still not afraid to voice out their opinions, even though it'll hurt some people but make others laugh, as their opinions are basically true. The smart and intelligent ones are well on their way to build a successful future. The creative and artistic ones are already amateur designers. The chatty ones are still..well.. chatty. The few things that have changed are their hairstyles and for most of them, their status, as they have moved from 'singledom' to 'couple-land'.

Perhaps along the road, the weight of the world, religious convictions or circumstances will force us to evolve, change, grow up and lose contact with one another. Nothing in this world can last until the end. But I will always hope for another occasion where we will be able to meet again and splatter butter on the steamboat barbeque pan.
D I V A at 11:53 AM
1 drop(s) of love