DeLiCiOuS aMbIGuItY

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

DONE

DONE! YES! NO MORE UNDERGRAD! *fingers crossed again*

I really hope I didn't screw up Audit too badly. Sigh.

But no more sad talk! Tonight I'm gonna watch lots of movies, and tomorrow its fun fun fun! I can worry about other stuff later =D

There are many roads that one can take. I guess if its really the wrong one then God will shut it down. But if there is no such thing as a right or a wrong in a decision, then no matter what decision I make, what route I take, I know the Almighty will be there watching out for me.

我很想家。真的很想回家。心快要破碎了。哼。。。
我还记得我刚来新西兰的心情，好快乐。终于觉得我有机会独立，可以有自己的空间来长大成人。
三年了。。。
我现在终于明白我家的温柔和爱情。在这个人生的道路，和我们来往相处的人茫茫如星星，但是只有家人才可以无限的爱你，尽力保护你，永远珍惜你。朋友？二十多年的友谊，可以一眨眼，就失去了。不要误会我的意识，朋友当然重要。在新西兰，朋友就是我的家人。但是，他们给你的爱不是免费的；友谊需要时间，信任和缘分去慢慢培养；付出太多的时候，就会觉得很累。友谊一失去就很难再重新来过。此外，我现在也不知道那个朋友是真实朋友；狡猾的“朋友”也不少。在你面前他会和你笑笑嘻嘻，但在你背后他是专门要毁灭你。真的非常头痛。有些朋友呢就不会考虑你的心情和感受，没有去好好了解你的痛苦和难过，把自己当最重要。我现在真的很烦恼，但是要开口说出去的话，怕会有太多的伤害，没药可救。家人和朋友不一样。就算你再做错，他们的心永远会有属于你的地位。就算他们伤你，家人之间的关系不容易砍断。我现在很需要一个恩爱的环境，快要顶不下去了。幸好有神给我力量，不然，我真的不知道该如何顶下去。我知道在这个世界里，可以天长地久永远永恒的东西和关系不存在。但，可以在这短短的人生感觉到爸爸的拥抱，妈妈的疼爱，是没有人可以给我的幸福。我不会在一个没有爸妈的世界存在。
我真的很想回家。他们为我牺牲不少，我应该孝顺。哼。。。

It's where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing

D I V A at 4:43 PM
1 drop(s) of love

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

thanking God

He has a purpose for everything. I can't thank Him enough.

There were so many frustrating moments, and when enduring those times I don't exactly understand how things are going to work out. I even doubted whether this whole thing was meant to be in the first place. But now, it all worked out. We went to look at a really nice flat yesterday, and today, we signed the contract for it. Part of me is still trying to digest the fact that I don't have to go on Quinovic or TradeMe to look urgently for flats, or to try to be the first potential tenant in the door. God did provide, and it is a pretty good flat. Fully furnished. With TV. And double wardrobe. And a double bed. This means I can put off buying furniture again. Haha..

So with all of my heart, I thank you, Lord my God, for being my Jehovah Jireh. You are my Great Provider. And I surrender this flat into your hands. May you use it for Your glory and Your honour. And may the people who walk through our doors be thorougly blessed, because we have been blessed by You. Thank you, dear Jesus!

So Audit was completely horrible. I want to forget that I sat that exam. In fact, I want to forget the whole course. But I have learnt a great lesson from this experience though: there is a big difference between a good student and a great one. A good student studies what is given really well. A great student knows how to expand his/her mind by thirsting for more. My biggest mistake in doing Audit is confining myself to the textbook and what was taught. Coupled with the fact that I don't have any experience in Audit, having never done any internships, I don't really understand how it works in the real world. And my mind doesn't think critically. My brain accepts what is taught in class and perhaps even knows how to apply theory. But it does not know how to think outside the box. So this is a good wake up call for me to start thinking critically, or else Honours year is going to be really hard.

My last paper is tomorrow. Can't wait for it to be over! I guess I'll be blogging again tomorrow about how happy I am. Just imagine, by this time tomorrow, I'll be done with undergrad. Forever. *Fingers crossed*

But tonight, in this post, I just want to thank my God. I love Him lots and lots, because He holds my world in the palm of His beautiful hands.

D I V A at 5:03 PM
1 drop(s) of love

Thursday, October 23, 2008

El Shaddai

It means "God who is All-Sufficient".

It appeared 48 times in the Old Testament of the Bible. 31 out of the 48 appeared in the book of Job.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb.
Naked will I depart
The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away
Praise be the Name of the Lord." Job 1:21

"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines
Though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food
Though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD
I will be joyful in God my Saviour" Habakkuk 3:17-18

To date, I have looked at and applied for 12 flats. I was rejected for all of them.

But at least I still have my El Shaddai.

D I V A at 2:16 PM
1 drop(s) of love

Thursday, October 09, 2008

530pm

Today at 4:30pm GMT+12 New Zealand time, I walked into my very last lecture as an undergraduate student. Approximately one hour later at 5:30pm, Ali said:" Congratulate me, Fran. This is my last class as a student."

Time flies.

We're all grown up now.

Soon I will sit for my last exam as an undergrad.

And then there's Honours year. Apparently that is a different ball game altogether. And there will be different faces, because familiar faces are leaving soon. Things are going to change, notwithstanding my desire for time to stay still, even if its just for a while.

But this world has not the beauty of eternity. It is cursed by time. The only thing that may last is a pensive of collected memories, but even those can be taken away when the human brain has failed, and when age eats life away.

Part of me looks forward to the future, and I pray, every single day I pray, that my future will be better than my past; that dreams will come true; that I will live this life knowing its wonder in its entirety; that I will live the life that God has willed and destined for me; that I will not sway; that I will stand strong in times of trials; that I can hold my head high in moments of defeat; that I can stand proud with integrity when the battles are won; that I will know the joy of being truly loved by someone; that I will know what is love, and how to give it away with all of my being.

So much to look forward to.

So little time to do it all.

D I V A at 2:09 PM
5 drop(s) of love