DeLiCiOuS aMbIGuItY

Ko the Saviour's saving arm te waka
The Saviour's saving arm is my canoe

Ko Calvary te maunga
Calvary is my mountain

Ko River of Life te awa
The River of Life is my river

Ko the Fellowship of the Believers te iwi
The Fellowship of the Believers is my tribe

Ko Lim & Misin te hapu
Lim and Misin are my sub-tribes

Ko Jesus te rangatira
Jesus is my chief

Ko Heaven te marae
Heaven is my home

Ko Fran, God's child ahau
I am Fran. God's child

My heart is drunk with a beauty that my eyes will never see.

How many loved your moments of glad grace?
And loved your beauty with love false or true
But there will always be one man who loved the pilgrim soul in you
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

For in all ranks of the human heart yearns for the one called Beautiful.

...
Was moved by Danny Gokey's rendition of the classic "You are so beautiful". I teared.
...

"You are a super human study machine that eats dissertations for breakfast."

But I still think that it is, and will be, the best year in university, mainly because the knowledge that I can be exposed to knows no more boundaries. Well, it is still under the umbrella of "accounting", but I didn't know that there was so much more going on behind the scenes! It is tough, that is for sure. I don't have a life outside the university but for ICF and church, and even then I haven't been attending lifegroups regularly. And I know I should!

Ah but the things that I've learned!

And I know that it has changed me somehow. And I probably will not be able to look at a set of financial information the same way ever again.

So now what do I do with all that I've learned or going to learn? One of the main things that I've gained from these past couple of months is the discovery of my intuitive desire for change - change in the economic structure, the business organisation, the labour relations, social justice and emancipation. I guess these desires go down deep into the heart of my faith. God has changed me. So how do I now show this change to others? How do I bring about change in my community and my work? These are questions that would not have risen up if not for this postgraduate year, and I am glad that I did Honours, despite all the long hours in the library and the never-ending stress.

I thought that the year would have been a lonely one because they left, but in the group I have found some pretty amazing friends, and I know the friendships will last. But, I still haven't stepped into Fujiyama since end of last year. And I've had my first yumcha of the year only just 2 saturdays ago, after a very long of craving for it. Too sentimental? Maybe. And I still think of them sometimes. But its probably more because none of my current friends would be able to stomach those kinds of food. Plus, who has time to go for proper lunch? Now, we either eat food we brought from home in front of our laptops or just go to New World for 5 minutes to buy food and then eat in front of our laptops. Worse than working. At least during the internship, I still had an hour everyday for proper lunch, and my day will end by 6pm. I will hang my imaginary working hat outside my door so that I will not bring the burden of work back home. So I sit home and watch TV and discovered the funny-antics, the wonder and the screaming trumpet that is Gordon Ramsay. His shows were incredibly funny and they still are!

But through it all I've declared God as sovereign over my life, as He should be, as He is sovereign over all the earth, the heavens and the universe. And He has taken that role very seriously, teaching me all about Him whenever my human attentiveness allows for it. He has been kind and merciful to me. I hope that His strength will help me carry this burden. I hope that His joy will lift my heavy heart. I hope that 16 October will come like a flash of lightning! That is the date when I need to hand in my thesis - the thing that would be my sweat and passion, and I intend to glorify Him and His authority in my work.

Jesus: Come, all you who are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

And a wonderful happy 21st birthday to my one and only brother!! (He's the only one I got). Well the norm is that 21 entails adulthood, but I think he entered into adulthood a long time ago =). God bless you. Stay out of trouble. And be a man. Do the right thing. Haha..

The faith of a child starts with the faith of a mother.

Happy mother's day mummy. You are the best.

And when I have children of my own, I hope I can parent half as well as you did.

Now I just have to convince my parents.