DeLiCiOuS aMbIGuItY

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

"Racism by its simplest definition is discrimination based on the race to which people belong"

"Some people argue that it is just words, but words can sometimes lead to dire and serious consequences, like Hitler."

"It has exist throughout human history. It has influenced wars, slavery, the formation on nations and legal codes."

"This belief is not "automatic"."

"A man (Jew) was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers... but a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was, and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine."

I.

Hate.

Racism.

And I hate it with an anger that superseeds any emotion that I have ever felt.

D I V A at 5:47 PM
3 drop(s) of love

Sunday, July 20, 2008

if only

人类的情绪非常的奇妙。高兴，伤心，爱情，憎恨，灰心等等，每个人都会经验过。

情绪是由于心。

但是人类也有头脑。

P. Ramlee 说：“跟情绪会死，跟感觉会毁灭。”

也许情况会改变，但是在这一刻，我的头脑一定要比我的心更坚强。

如果我跟感觉，我会毁灭。

这个心已经经验足够的悲伤。心不能乱给，爱情不能乱复出。

也许你会变成我这个人生最好的朋友。你了解我。给时间，也许你会更加关心我。

但是，缘分就是那么狠。他让我们相助，但是不让我对你付出太多情绪，因为你不属于我，永远不会。这样也好。虽然不能对你付出感情，至少能够有一个非常美妙的友谊。神的设计比人类的更好，更有智慧。我没得选，就只能相信他会照顾我。

不用为我操心。我没事。我相信这些非常令人烦恼的感情回自己毁灭，会自己离开。最重要的是，头脑一定要坚强，不能被情绪影响到。已经要二十二岁了，应该会保护自己的心吧。已经见鬼了，还不怕黑？

我已经很久没有写华文。如果有错误请原谅。哈哈。。。

爱的路上千万里
我们要走过去
别旁徨别犹豫
我和你在一起
高山在云雾里
也要勇敢的爬上去
大海上暴风雨
只要不会心不失意
有困难我们彼此要鼓励
有快乐要珍惜
使人生变得分外美丽
爱的路上只有我和你

D I V A at 2:00 PM
1 drop(s) of love

Monday, July 14, 2008

palmerston north

Himatangi Beach, Palmerston North

For me, beaches have always been a source of personal inspiration

- Thomas Carper

It was an unexpected and very random getaway, but nevertheless it was very fun and memorable. I felt extremely blessed.

Ruth and I didn't expect to be in Palmerston North for the weekend but there we were. The reason why we're there is because we got to know a friend through a friend who was going to stop at PN on his way to Napier for the weekend. So we decided to hitch a ride.

The drive up and the drive back was marked with good and memorable conversations. This just goes to prove that in certain circumstances, friendships do not necessarily need time to grow. 5 hours of good conversation can sometimes be enough.

We stayed at Esther Fan's place, and I felt blessed again by her hospitality for opening up her flat for us. It made the trip way cheaper than what it normally would have cost. The OCFers were really good hosts. Ian paid for some of our meals and Jason brought us on a tour of Massey University. (Need to steal Ian's wallet the next time he's in Welly so that we can repay the favour!) I can't believe the prices in PN! $70 per week rent! Unbelievable. And Jap food for less than 10 bucks! And it was pretty good.

We spent most of Sat walking around PN, and typical of us girls we ended up shopping here and there. Didn't buy much but I got a nice skirt for work and a DVD. (Mikey: You bought stuff in PN?! We usually go to Welly to buy stuff!) Watched the rugby match (All Blacks and South Africa) on the telly at Massey's International Centre. I was watching my first rugby game there. I usually just leave after the haka, but this time around I stayed for the whole game. Almost fell asleep after the 1st half but the 2nd half got real interesting. Despite the fact I'm in NZ, I was glad South Africa won because that night they were the better team. After all, South Africa are the world champs. However, I was told that the All Blacks used to be ruthless and were really, really good. We also tried out this place call Cornerstone. My goodness, I was shocked when I saw the place. Its a tiny little kitchen on wheels! Ruth pretty much went to heaven when she saw that they had salmon don and salmon eggs as well. I had shima don, and will one day go back to try the teriyaki don! Yum yum..

Ruth went back on Sunday morning with Jason but I spent most of the day in PN and went back only at 5pm. I went to Kingston for church, and I thought that the sermon was really good. I wish I was around to hear the continuation of it. After church we went for yum cha. We had heaps of food, but probably because of the table we got the service was pretty bad. Food was not coming our way. After church, Mikey brought Nai Chen and I for a drive out to Himatangi Beach. It was a really nice day, and the rain stopped when we reached the beach. There was only a slight breeze and the sky was blue. So we walked and talked and had an awesome time. After the beach we tried out this cafe in Downtown called Coco. Oh my goodness the hot chocolate was so awesome! I ordered a small dark hot chocolate, but the size of it was pretty decent. Mikey ordered the best one yet. I forgot the name of the drink but I think it was Iced Caramel Chocolate. It looked so yum and tasted yum as well. Chor Ee called me when we were almost done with our drinks. It was time to go back to Welly. Sigh..

Had a really good drive back like I said. I've made some new friends and strengthen some old friendships. It was a good getaway and now, its time to finally get back into reality. Uni has started, and its time to do some serious studying.

Faithful friends are beyond price: No amount can balance their worth.

D I V A at 7:59 AM
0 drop(s) of love

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

let the poor say i am rich

Nearly all of God's jewels are crystallized tears

Sometimes life will throw curve balls at you. And most times people don't understand why. But eventually we will need to learn how to deal with it. There is no teacher that is better than experience.

I thought I am gonna be tutoring this semester, but it seems that that is not the case. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I think its because there were too many available tutors who could only tutor ACCY 111, so I was given marking for ACCY 302, without any classes to tutor. Marking gives me 400 dollars for the whole semester. So I'm pretty much jobless now. Being jobless after working part-time and studying as well for the past one year (and being able to balance both), kinda makes me feel like a bum. I will be financially tight, and won't be able to do much. I was sad, and was also thinking of getting another job. If I were to apply for admin jobs, I would need to quit by end of October because I start my internship in November. And I feel just slightly immoral for accepting jobs with the knowledge that I'm gonna quit in 4 months, and the employer doesn't know. There might be other people who are just as qualified applying for the same job, but willing to stay with the company for a longer period. If I try for retail jobs, the likelihood is that I won't get it because of the lack of experience, and even if I got it I'll be on minimum wage. So we're looking at getting about 10 dollars per hour after tax. Mum is of the opinion that the time is better spent studying. I think its better spent on watching Cantonese drama. But both of us agree that the time spent and the effort put towards working in retail is probably not worth the pay. Plus, I'm used to getting paid higher than minimum wage. My first job paid 15 dollars an hour. Above all, I am too lazy to apply for another job. I'm still pretty much in a holiday mood, and I don't wanna be doing anything else but be a bum. But right now, I am a very poor bum, which is not very good. Allowance from my sponsors will only come end of the month, so I need to be really tight with money till then. After I receive my allowance, I still need to be really tight with the money or else I won't survive for the next couple of months. Since I don't have any other source of income (except for the money that I'm gonna be getting for marking, which has already been designated into the "shopping for work clothes" account), I need to be thrifty with money. Times are also hard, with soaring inflation. Its hitting everybody.

And Jesus said, let the poor say I am rich.

I guess right now, it is more important than ever for me to have a kingdom-of-God perspective. God owns the heavens and the earth, and all things are His. His riches are infinite, and He calls me to Himself, giving me the honour to be known as His child. His name is Jehovah Jireh, the Great Provider, and surely in the midst of all of these things, He will provide for my every need. Like how the birds of the air do not store warehouses of food, but still survive, likewise He will take care of me.

The biblical heroes are real-life examples of how one can be rich in the midst of poverty. A kingdom-of-God perspective requires a shift in how we view money. Money is important, but it isn't everything. There are way more important things than money, like God, family, friendships, love. Now that I'm not working, and I'm only taking 2 papers in uni, I have a lot of free time in my hands. In fact, I think I can keep up with my readings now. I stopped doing readings before lectures since I started second year because there were too many. Now, I might even be prepared for classes. I will also have a bit more time to be more involved with church. And that is a good thing, because after getting into the worship team I rarely go for band practice because I'm always busy. Now that Mel is in the team as well, he's probably gonna kick my butt and make me go for practice.

I've also been watching Cantonese drama. I rarely speak Cantonese here in NZ because I speak either English or Mandarin, and sometimes even Malay. So I'm hoping that by watching lots I can improve my Cantonese again.

Going to Palmerston North for the weekend with Ruth (hope that she is still coming! That thesis can be a real pain, to her and to everyone else who cares about her!) Yaay! The couple of times that I've been to Palmy, I always end up in the outskirts of Feilding (for camps). So I've never actually seen the city.

For every love, there is a heart somewhere, ready to receive it. - Ivan Panin

I lift my glass, and drink to love, and never give up.

D I V A at 2:31 PM
1 drop(s) of love

Friday, July 04, 2008

where the light is

Those who are dead are not dead
They're just living in my head
And since I fell for that spell
I am living there as well
Time is so short and I'm sure
There must be something more
You thought you might be a ghost
You didn't get to heaven but you made it close

42 - Coldplay

Although the style is still the same, this album definitely showed off a lot more of their musical playing. So lots more instrumental sections and riffs compared to their previous albums.

Still loved it though. I was listening to this album in Borders, and I thought to myself that if there is one special song in the album that captures and breaks my heart, then I'll buy it. Sure enough, when 42 started playing in my ears, I almost cried.

And there are two more albums that I want: Soulja boy's souljatellem.com and Chris Brown's Exclusive. And there are a few others that I've been meaning to buy as well but haven't got the money to do so: Wyclef Jean's Memoirs of an Immigrant, One Republic's Dreaming Out Loud, David Crowder Band's Remedy, all of Linkin Park's albums, Once's Soundtrack, all of John Foreman's albums etc.

And I am so looking forward to John Mayer's Where the Light is. I actually have all the songs in the album, but its different when its a recording of a live show. I hope he comes up with something new soon.

And I also need to get more Michael Buble. And Jack Johnson's Brushfire Fairytales.

And Alicia Keys.

Sigh. Music is expensive.

If you love me, won't you let me know? So if you loved me, why'd let me go? - Violet Hill

D I V A at 7:33 PM
2 drop(s) of love

aww man

Uni starts again on Monday =( The holidays are far too short, and I wish that there's more.

However it has been a real good break. God has been very kind by granting me a good end to a stressful semester. I was happy with the grades =) Also spend heaps of time hanging out with friends and just being a bum. It was a good rest. The Bersatu Games was held in Wellington this time. I've never seen so many Malaysians in Wellington...

The weather was once again not very kind to us. Its hailing now, raining really badly and very windy.

Caught up with Eugene and Ian. It was real good =)

Went to the zoo. I loved the otters. If I were an animal I wanna be an otter.

Made bak kut teh. It was real yum if I may say so myself. Ahem =p Whoever invented instant herbs definitely made me a very happy woman!

Broke. Holidays = outflow more than inflow.

2 more papers then I'm done with undergrad. YAAY. Advanced Auditing and Law of Special Contracts =.=|||

Class starts 930am Monday. But I have a 3 day weekend this semester as well. No classes on Fridays!

Rain, rain, go away..

D I V A at 11:17 AM
1 drop(s) of love