DeLiCiOuS aMbIGuItY

Monday, January 29, 2007

sunshine, rain and wind

There are traces of evidence that show the effects of the weather on people's moods. It's relatively obvious in Wellington. Having more than its fair share of rain and wind, the sun is much appreciated.

Ever heard of the weather portraying a person's mood though? It happens, albeit rarely.

A few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in life, it was rainy and gloomy in Wellington. The wind was strong, the skies were dark and the rain didn't stop falling. 3 days non stop. Fi said God was crying for me. LOL. I even remembered when she said that. It was a Sunday morning, we're at the cable car station, and we're going to church. It's kinda funny thinking back now.

The weather in Seremban has been freaky. It has been windy for days now. And the wind this morning was stronger than ever. It was so strong, that it blew down the shoe cabinet and the unused wooden doors that my dad kept, (the doors were taken off and replaced when my house was renovated.) So now we can't open the front door. My sister and I are stuck in the house. Praise God for the DVD galore.

The weather reminds me of Welly, which then reminds me that I only have 6 days left.

Perhaps the weather knows my thoughts.

Labels: musings

D I V A at 10:15 AM
2 drop(s) of love

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

wolf in sheep's clothing

Here's a thought:

Most people think the devil has two horns and a tail.

More often that not, he may be the guy (or lady) sitting next to you in church, with his expensive black suit and silk red tie, (or her expensive black dress with her Prada handbag) with a Holy Bible in his (her) hand, screaming "Hallelujah" and "Amen".

You can never know.

Labels: heart soul mind

D I V A at 10:47 PM
1 drop(s) of love

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

i can feel it slipping away

I got my confirmation of studies today. Lectures everyday. Three papers (well, four actually, but ACCY 001 is only for 6 weeks, or 2 weeks, if I pass the 1st exam). All of the lectures will be held in the same lecture theatre. -_-.

I finished updating the things that ICF will be using for Orientation 2007, which are the information brochures and fliers. My mind is buzzing with serious things that are heading my way. Things like, "When should sausage sizzles be organised? We didn't get to do any during summer because it's all booked."; "Orientation"; "Easter Camp"; "Cafe Night"; "Movie Night"; "How do I do all those stuff that I need to do?"; "DJG, and how do I relate it to music?"; "I need a job. HELP!"; "Studies - am I going to like it? Not that it really matters"; "How's flatting gonna be like? Will it be a safe haven or will it be like the family from hell?"; "Church. Will I have the time to help out more?"; "Are there people that I still need to contact?"; "How's 2007 gonna be like?"; "Will I know an opportunity when I see one, or will I let my fears consume me, and see it slipping away?"; "I never got to buy that nice coat from Naf Naf, freaking expensive"; "How exactly do I confront my own self, so that I can step out of my comfort zone?"; "I still haven't heard that song, and I long to hear for a long, long time. Too bad, all I can remember is the chorus"; .... All of them. And many more. In my head. All at the same time. It's like a million bees buzzing inside a small enclosed area, and each of the bees are emitting its own sound, and its getting so noisy to the point that the noise becomes like "white noise", where everything I hear inside my head becomes like a high-pitched crazy hum, visualising itself as a white light, dazzling me, making me sick. That's when I know it's slipping away. The holidays. It's almost gone.

I've started packing things in boxes.

Ain't long now

Labels: comings and goings

D I V A at 6:35 PM
2 drop(s) of love

Thursday, January 04, 2007

wait

Learn to labour and to wait -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow-

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life -Oscar Wilde-

......

Sometimes time flies by so fast that the wait seems only like a brief moment. As for other times, the wait seems too much of a burden to bear. But why wait? Carpe Diem! Seize the Day! Dr. Robert Anthony said that "waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait. The truth is, there are only two things in life: reasons and results, and reasons simply don't matter." Some people can't wait. Others wait far too long.

Perhaps it depends on the objective of the wait. What are you waiting for?

If the objective is the result of an exam, or a job offer after an interview, and you know that you've done your best, what else can you do but WAIT?

If the objective is to board a flight, and you know you're late, what else can you do but NOT WAIT?

If the objective is earnings from investments, the decision between WAIT and NOT WAIT can be fatal. You can gain or lose everything.

If the objective is an answer to a prayer, it's really not your say as you have left the issue of timing in the hands of God. You just have to WAIT.

If the objective is a person, there really is no easy answer. If someone crosses your path, do you NOT WAIT and jump at the chance or do you WAIT? If you choose to jump, why? Is it because you're afraid of being alone, or because you're absolutely sure that this person is meant for you? If you choose to wait, why? Is it because you're afraid of getting hurt, or because you're not sure whether this person is the real deal? And then there's the OTHER question. What if no one crosses your path? Will you flex your eye muscles and screen every person that comes along your way, or will you wait, or will you just not care?

Truth is, Dr. Anthony is wrong. Reasons matter. The REASON for the wait or action matters. There are certain reasons that demand attention, thus we cannot wait. There are other reasons that demand patience, thus we have to wait. And there are certain things that only the wait can teach us: patience, appreciation, thanksgiving and understanding. We wait, and thus we learn patience. When the wait is rewarded, we learn appreciation. When the one who relieves the wait receives praise, we learn thanksgiving. And even though the wait is not rewarded, we can learn why, if we manage to put aside the disappointment and frustration, and so we are given a higher understanding.

Someone once shared with me that waiting projects a sense of expectation. Sadly, sometimes expectations fail, but not always. The Israelites waited for 400 years for Moses. One cannot say that those who have died before his arrival waited in vain, because he did come. Many prophets who foretold about the birth of Christ died before He came. One cannot say they waited in vain, because He did come. As for dear Jacob, he laboured and waited for 14 years for Rachel. I guess that's what Henry Wadsworth Longfellow meant: labour and love. Some things/people/events etc. are worth the wait, because these things create changes for the better.

.....

A funny and yet seemingly true quote that I found:

"Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples on the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to WAIT for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality."

Labels: heart soul mind

D I V A at 11:01 PM
3 drop(s) of love