The second trisemester has started and is going full swing now. Tutorials are about to begin. Assignments are pouring in. Assignment hand-in dates and term tests dates have been announced. Here comes study mode. *everybody sighs*
When the last semester ended, some of the friends that I have made went back to their respective homes. In Weir House, which is the hostel of which I am a resident, three of my friends went back home. Two of them went back to United States, and the other went back to Korea. Another friend whom I've met through ICF has went back to the States as well.
Although I don't really keep in touch with them anymore (my fault), I still hear about them from other friends. When they first came to New Zealand, three out of the four friends that I've mentioned above were in a relationship. Two of the relationships are broken now. It's not only them. I know of other people who have faced this problem as well in their relationships: distance. I've heard about far too many breakups in these past few months. It has come to the point where it saddens me to think about them. When I think of these friends of mine, it came to mind that distance was not the only factor. Other things such as religion, third parties, insecurity, lack of trust etc have caused many relationships that I've deemed to be strong to tumble and fall. What's going on?
I remember writing an entry about love in this blog last year. I entitled the post "i choose to" (scroll down to read the post. Do read it, it's one of my best writings yet, haha...) This is because I believe that love is a choice. A concious choice made by a person to love another, and to accept that person as he/she is. It is a decision made with both the heart and the mind, and because it is our own choice made out of our freewill, we stand by it. I used to believe this. And I still do. Yet, reality sinks in once in a while, and there are times when I do ponder whether I'm waiting for the impossible.
I know that God hears my prayers, and He is in control of my life. He has great plans for me, and He will help me achieve my destiny. His destiny for me is greater than my wildest imagination. He is a big God, and He loves me. He has been so real and gracious in my life far too many times, and even when things seem impossible, He's always there to show me that nothing is impossible with Him. I am now waiting for what the world will classify as impossible: him, whoever he may be. The 'him' that God has created for me, and me for him. The 'him' that God has destined to love me, and for me to love him back. The 'him' that will look at me, see through my weaknesses and faults, and yet sees the beauty within me, and deem me worthy of his love. The 'him' that will love and care for me always, no matter how hard things become, because he sets his eyes upon the Lord, and God will give him strength. The 'him' that will be my partner in this dance call life. The 'him' that will be my companion in achieving my God-ordained destiny. I am waiting for 'him', whoever he may be. And I know he's somewhere out there. And he's waiting for me, too. I pray that God will work such a miracle in my life, that when he does come, I will have nothing to say but this: Praise be the name of the Lord, for He has heard my prayers, and gave me the desires of my heart. I have faith, and my faith is in God. I have hope, and my hope is in God.
Yet, the thought of being a 60 year old spinster...ARGHHHH!! SCARY!!
Repeat to self: I have faith, and my faith is in God. I have hope, and my hope is in God.
But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:24b-25
Whoever you are, I am waiting ^^
