Home is behind, the world ahead;
and there are many paths to tread.
Through shadows, to the edge of night,
until the stars are all alight;
Wisp and shadow, cloud and shame,
All shall fade, all shall fade...
~J.R.R. Tolkien~
I wanted to post this entry tomorrow but I'm afraid that there won't be enough time so I'm doing it now. I'm leaving for New Zealand tomorrow for undergraduate studies.
Many have asked what are my feelings now that the time to go is finally here. To tell the truth, I'm not very sure. Maybe I'm unconsiously making myself numb to any emotions to guard myself from unnecessary pain and heartache. I feel neither happiness nor sorrow. The level of excitement is so-so. I'm thinking of a few people now, those that I'll sorely miss. At the same time I know that this is life, and most things in life are not made to last for eternity. All of us need to move on, like swift rapids in the rivers because that is how life works. It just flows on and on and on. I guess you can say, I'm treating tomorrow just like any other day, and going to New Zealand is something that I need to do, and I'm glad that I've been blessed with this opportunity to enrich my life experiences. There are many more paths that I need to take, many more chapters in life that I need to begin and end. Studying in New Zealand is one of it.
I would like to thank the church Agape Gospel Assembly for their prayers and good wishes. I've been attending this church since I was young. I practically grew up there. I went to their Sunday School, I joined the Missionettes, I served in the Children's Ministry.... I went there Sunday after Sunday, and that has made all the difference. Thanks also to all my friends who have wished me and visited me. I'm very touched and grateful for such gestures, and I'll remember you always.
These are some of the things that I'll miss:
Roti pisang, char kuey teow, lemang, pisang emas, mata kucing, nasi lemak, ayam madu, rambutan, popiah, secret recipe's american chocolate cake, cheap and tasty chinese food, pasar malam, steamboat, late night suppers, broadband 24 hours a day 7 days a week, standing outside Animetech and admiring all the anime merchandise, staying up late and waking up late 'cuz the time for studies haven't arrived, pirated VCDs and DVDs, the smell of Malaysian Ringgit, cheap 2nd hand story books, the lax copyrighted laws, speaking with the LAH slang, all the good people I've met (friends, lecturers, teachers...), Petaling Street, Mid Valley Megamall, Sungei Wang Plaza, Sabah, Seremban, secondary school, college.... and many more.
But this is the one thing that I'll miss the most: knowing that my mother is an hour's drive away and that I can go back home every weekend and tell her about how the weight of the world is crushing my spirit. Exaggeration, of course.
Here I come, world.
Pray for me, yeah? I think I'm gonna need it.
