If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. ~Richard Bach, Author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull~
It took me quite a while to understand the above statement.
Have you ever found yourself in situations where your emotions are tied to the actions of others? If he/she does this, you'll feel happy, or if he/she does that, you'll feel downcast. We live in such a vast world with disperse communities, and yet the world is close-knitted enough where certain actions will determined the fate, destiny and emotions of many. The act of kindness of one man can change the fate of another. The act of cruelty of one man can also bring about the destruction of a nation. Such are human beings, independent in thoughts and philosophies of life, and yet having a great sense of reliance on others for support, encouragement, love, mercy and happiness.
The quote states: if the actions of others have the power to determine your happiness, then you have a problem. The problem, I presumed, lies not with others, but with ourselves.
When a woman's husband walks out on her to be with a younger, sexier and apparently 'far more perfect' woman than herself, doesn't the action of her husband have the power to determine her happiness?
When a man loses his job because of company cutbacks, and he was fired because he was one of the newer employees, and not because he's not good at the job, doesn't that action of the company the power to determine his happiness?
When a single father lost his only daughter to a rapist-cum-murderer, doesn't the action of the scum have the power to determine his happiness?
But when you actually sit and think about it, it's far too dangerous to let someone else have that kind of power. It makes you far too vulnerable. It's as if your happiness has already been decided, and you're not the decision maker, and you don't have any say. And that's when it hit me: Happiness is really a lot like love. It's a choice.
I guess when people allow the outer circumstances to plague them and influence their lives, they will never be free from that dark hole. They will think that the dark hole is created by others to bind them, when in reality that dark hole in their lives is really created by themselves, because they can't let go of the past. They carry that baggage all throughout their lives, allowing themselves to be chained and thus never experiencing true happiness because they're being held back by the actions of others. I guess that there comes a point in life where one will have to choose to let go so that he/she can finally soar and be truly free. And after freedom comes happiness, because he/she has finally been rid of the dark hole, and is now under the bright morning sun.
I hate the fact that I'm vulnerable enough to allow others to influence how I feel, but I realized at the end of the day, I'm the one who should decide what I should feel. It ain't easy to control outburst of emotions, but that is a lesson, if learnt, will armed me through the storms of life. If I'm in control of what I feel, I will be able to draw up enough courage to overcome fear, sadness, heartbreaks and disappointments from others. That way, I know I'll be able to stand up again after I've been strucked down. That way, I'll be able to love and forgive more, and feel less hatred.
I think that's how Jesus can love those who hate Him. He doesn't allow the actions of others to ever influence how He feels.
