It has been on my mind. The time is coming soon, where I need to decide which road I should take.
Should I take the one which I always thought I will take, and forsake the one which I always thought I'll never have the chance to tread?
Or am I forsaking that road because I'm afraid to step out of what is familiar? Because I have been using the other road to justify forsaking that road?
Why am I on this current road? Are my reasons right? Have my reasons changed? Am I doing it because I want to, or because I feel obliged to? Will other people come and continue my journey and tell me what happens next, if I should leave? Will I still be part of this journey in memory and in spirit?
What will happen if I had walked the other road that I have chosen to forsake? Things would have been really different. I would not have been the person I am now. I have learned to be more critical, to value the word of God more, and have been challenged to grow closer to God, day by day. I have learned the value of building relationships with people, to know how to admit when I'm wrong, to rise up when the skies are gray, and I've plodded through muddy waters. I will not exchanged what I've got for anything else in this world.
So what about the other road? Can I still choose, at the crossroad, to take up the other path? Will I forsake some great, big plan by going the other way?
So I looked beyond the crossroad.
What do I want to do? What am I passionate about? Where do I want to be in a few years time? While journeying this current road, I grew passionate about lots of things. Can I still be passionate about them when I'm on the other road? Can I still do those things that I want to do?
Of course I can.
Why do I want to take up the other road? Is it because, at the other road, lies all that I have wanted to do, but knew that at that moment, I'm not yet prepared? Is it because this is what He wants me to do? I get the feeling that He's trying to tell me so through the people around me. On the other hand, I can be pretty deaf at times, and hear the wrong things.
Things will be different no matter which road I choose to take, and at the end of the day, it is my choice to make.
I'm still His child. He is still my Father. The world continues on. It does not hinge on my decision. Neither does He.
He wants all of me. Isn't that the main purpose of these roads anyway, to follow Him till the ends of the earth? So does it matter, at the end of the day, which road I take, so long as I serve Him, and Him alone, the best that I can?
I'm not very coherent now. But there's still time to think things through
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood... and the other road that I have left for some other day, now yearns to be tread
