I am currently:
- sick. My nose hurts. My voice has changed. I wheeze when I breathe. Lots of people are getting sick these few days. But I guess things could've been a lot worse. My situation is not that bad. It's probably the change in the weather. It's winter now, and it's windy, and cold, and raining. I've been waking up at 7am in the morning, and walking to uni in the rain to get to 8am lectures. It's not even my lectures. I go because I want to make sure that the lecture notes that I got (which I'm not suppose to have because I'm in a different stream) are complete. So for this semester, I'll be spending 19 hours every week in Uni, and that is only lectures and tutorials. Ah the ups and downs of a student.
- very grateful to all the people who have encouraged me and gave me meaningful advice last night at the Potential Leaders Meeting. Thank you Ching Wen, Esther and Aik Win for talking to me and supporting me in prayer and in words. I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into, but I'm just taking the plunge. I cannot push away the voice of God anymore. I don't want to live a life wondering what could have been, just because I didn't take the path that I'm suppose to. I don't want to kill, what Aik Win called 'the spark'. To live is for Christ. May His purposes for my life be fulfilled.
- waiting for my parcel from home. In the parcel are my clothes and skirts which I really miss. I miss wearing skirts, although wearing skirts here in Wellington, especially this time of the year is highly dangerous due to the wind, and potentially hazardous to health because of the cold.
- thinking of the kids at Citykids Childcare Center. When I was in the laundry room, I emptied out one of the dryers because I wanted to use it. When I opened the dryer, a familiar scent floated into the air. Although my nose hurts, I haven't lost my sense of smell. Inside the dryer were bedsheets and some towels. The scent reminded me of the children that I used to care for. It was the scent of little kids who have just bathed, wearing baby powder and new clean clothes. Even though I was in the center for only two days, I've become quite attached to some of the kids, and I often think of them. Maybe it's just the way my brain works, but I remember most of the scent that passed through my nose. It is registered in my brain. I remember the scent of perfumes and food. I also remember the scent (or smell, depending on circumstances) of people. So, I know when someone has BO, even only slightly. Although I've never really told anyone this:"Hey man, you stink." And I also know when someone is a pro in selecting perfume.
- thinking about the lessons that God has been trying to teach me. For quite a while, He taught me faith. He sent people to encourage me and teach me about having faith in Him. He bombarded the same scripture to me again and again. Hebrews 11:1 -> Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and being certain of what we do not see. He helped me to trust Him more, and coaxed me to surrender my life totally to Him, and be totally dependent on Him. And now, He's teaching me to be patient and wait for His timing and His plans. After Esther Yap's birthday dinner, Ching Wen gave everyone there a poem that Esther received through e-mail. Quoting from the poem: When the time is not right, God says, "Slow". When everything is all right, God says, "Go". Before that, I received a text message that contains this verse: Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21. Isn't it ironic? From the day when I was born until today, my life was planned, but it wasn't my plans that came to pass, it was the Lord's. In the past, I've been disappointed many times when my plans didn't come through, but as I looked back at my life, I am awestruck at His grace and wisdom. Everything happened for a reason. I didn't understand why back then. But I understand now. It'll be the same 10 years down the road. I don't understand the position I'm in now. But I'll understand soon enough.
- waiting for my clothes to dry.
- not looking foward to QUAN lecture later.
